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Helping
your Kids through the Move
With countless details of moving on
your mind, it can be all too easy to forget your children’s feelings. Even
though you’re probably overwhelmed (understandably), it’s important to give
your kids some extra emotional support to help them through the trauma of moving.
Inside are some simple strategies that can make the event easier on the kids in
your family.
Talk about Moving
Open communication is key. Explain
why and when you’re moving. If possible, let the kids go along on house hunting
trips. Take them for a visit to their new school. Show them playgrounds, parks
and recreational activities. If you can’t take the kids along, photos and video
of where they’ll live and play can be an excellent substitute.
Be Enthusiastic
If you show happiness about moving,
your kids will mirror your mood. Keep a positive attitude, but be prepared to
accept their negative reactions. Listen to children’s fears and concerns, and
share your own. Let them know their feelings are normal. Reassure them by
reading age-appropriate books on moving.
Let the Kids pack their stuff and
plan their new room
To small children, their possessions
are their world. Reassure them that their possessions will move along with
them. Have the children pack as much as possible. Give them special boxes and
labels, and explain to them that all the things they packed will be in their
new room when the family arrives. Talk about where they’ll put their things,
and let them take part in decorating their room.
Get ready for Goodbye
Help your children prepare for the
move by making a memory book. (Or, let them shoot their own video.) Include
pictures of their old house, friends and favorite places. Write down addresses
and phone numbers of friends. Plan a going-away party and hand out cards with
your new address. If visits are possible, let your children know they’ll be
able to visit their old friends.
Settle Comfortably in Your New Home
Help your kids feel at home before
they feel homesick. Set up their rooms right away. Try to keep schedules as
normal as possible, and be there to talk at mealtimes and bedtime. Call
neighbors to find other children the same age. Sign up for one or two
activities that will interest your children and help them meet new friends.
Give lots of encouragement when kids tell you about their school experiences.
Remember to set aside family time.
Easing New School Jitters
Find out as
much as you can about the school before you move. Be informed about special
needs, gifted programs, magnet school programs, and other school opportunities.
- Register before school starts so
you can clear up any curriculum problems.
- If you move during the school
year, check frequently with teachers to make sure your kids are adjusting well
and are in the appropriate grade levels.
- For good social adjustment, ask
teachers about “buddy” programs. Also, try to find neighborhood classmates your
children can talk to about their new school.
Think Long Term
Your kids will eventually forgive
you for moving. Remember that behavioral changes will likely disappear as
children adapt to their new environment. Don’t be afraid to get professional
help, however, if you feel it’s necessary. The stress of moving isn’t easy for
parents, but with patience and enthusiasm, you’ll be rewarded with children who
feel safe, happy and secure in their new home.
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